my god... i'm feeling damn sian... yesterday... haiz... dunno whether i shld tok abt it or not... someone said i shld write about stuff deep down in my heart and not just the outside (like what i have been doing and what most people are doing also...) and so it seems that someone younger than me is smarter than me... (ouch, my heart!) oh wells... i have my reasons though... for not writing abt what i feel deep down inside... (actually i did before... it was about my drumstick which fell into the lift... boo hoo!!) first, it would consist of a teeny bit some a lot of vulgarities since people around me are irritating me... (most of them are just immature people who go to school wearing khaki shorts) second, everything would be a mess since my mind IS in a mess... information would be flying here and there everywhere... thirdly, i have my doubts of WHO is going to read it... so who cares? ok... so everything i have just said is redundant... but isn't that it? sometimes i feel that everything i feel is redundant... ok but who cares anyways... i'm just going to try it once...

friday: had co prac... everybody slacking... no instructors... dazu in the morning with clayton conducting... everybody toking when clayton was toking... how irritating... i wished i had water soaker or something... then i can just shoot at whoever is toking... ok whatever... nuff about co... went to drum lesson... still can... teacher said that i was too quiet... AGAIN... what do you expect? the rest of the 6 people are all GIRLS... 1, i'm from a boy's school... dunno how to tok to girls... 2, THEY are from a girl's school (3 from st nicks and 2 from nanyang) except for 1 from presbytarian high (which i dunno whether it's mixed or what...) so how do you expect me to tok to them... i must be some despo sia... to approach them and tok to them... (in which case i'm not) ok anyway we played bon jovi's "it's my life" (we play the song on the hi-fi and play the drum set with the song...) wah song... too bad i wasn't using drum set... i was playing the drum PAD... which was just some rubber thingy made to represent the drum set... oh well... so in the end the girls continued to tok among themselves while i sit alone (except for some instances) man... how pathetic... oh ya, the teacher asked me that if i saw them on the street one day, would i say hello to them? then i said depends... and he started saying that i am very difficult to befriend... to even say hello also must have so many conditions... but that's becos i dun trust them that they will respond to me what... what if they dao me? i especially HATE people who dao lor... it's not as if i deserve it... if i deserve it then ok la... but then they dao me for no reason... make me look like a fool calling out to no one only... so i might as well not give you a chance to dao me... and just mind my own business... sigh... i have become like this becos of the countless people who dao-ed me last time... now it's becoming part of me to sort of dao people... oh well... happy dao-ing!

ok... so now i have said my worthless feelings which carry no value whatsoever... am i supposed to feel better now? do i? ok maybe... thanks anyway, CHINK...